The Fork in the Road

Psalms 25:4, Show me the path where I should walk, O LORD; point out the right road for me to follow.

There is a very real difference between knowing the path of Christ and walking it. Growing up going to church, I knew exactly what was expected of me as a child of God. Instead I decided to pave my own roads; make my own way in this life. The concrete I poured was never mixed properly and would crack under the intense summer sun. Breaking my back to construct the road beneath my own feet, I had put myself in a situation in which I could not raise my head to see where I was going. My future was always uncertain and dark, because my eyes could not focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. I knew the right path, but instead chose my own way through a world that I do not truly belong to.

Finally, I grew tired of attempting to make my own way on the highway of choice and misdirection. I pulled over to a safe shoulder and lowered my grip on the dark future I was headed toward. Praying to the Lord I had forgotten, but who had thankfully not forgotten me, I surrendered my wayward navigational techniques. Tossing aside my hard hat and construction uniform, Christ has taken over manufacturing and illuminating the path unto my feet.

Jesus has a plan for me and I acknowledge His direction and praise His hand that holds the only compass pointing true North. My pride caused me to stumble and I can see that now, as I look back down the professionally crafted road He carries me on. He is the God who gives, and the God who takes away. Christ allowed me to try it my way, so I could know there is only ONE way, HIS way.

I could still be breaking my back today, attempting to make my own way in this world. I am grateful for the courage He fills me with… to trust Him and let go.

Psalms 119:35, Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.

My Beacon of Hope

2 Timothy 2:21, If you keep yourself pure, you will be a vessel God can use for his purpose. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.

I grew up attending a Southern Baptist church where an old preacher in a polyester suit preached to your fears shouting, “Turn or burn! Repent or be sent!” at the top of his lungs. Our appointed leader barked behind a large, hand-crafted, pulpit that stood high above rows of hard wooden pews, filled with judgmental Christians. For an hour, and sometimes longer, we ourselves were judged. I was baptized at Mill Park Baptist, in Portland Oregon, and still hold true to values taught to me by great men who lead there. Not being a preacher myself, I choose not to preach the, “Fire and Brimstone” message to people I know and/or meet.

After the Air Force and my brief schooling in computer science at UNLV, in Las Vegas, I moved to Reno and took work at a real estate office. One of my many “primary” duties was to install and continue operating the company’s secure network, and wireless network. With wireless technology, in a large office, you use handy little gadgets are used called repeaters. Repeaters take the signal from the main wireless router and re-broadcast it, thus extending your wireless range. It’s not as strong as the original signal, but it extends its reach, with each repeater that is in place.

I like to take the good of what I learned while attending Mill Park Baptist. And there was a lot. The main message I still hold true to my heart is, God is love. You can feel love as its energy flows between two people. Picturing God as the main transmission of this pure energy, I pray to be His repeater. May His grace flow through me to show the world His love and glory. I don’t chose words that paint a picture of a fearful existence that awaits those who choose not to follow Him. Instead I try to see a light of hope that radiates from Him, through me, that touches the hearts of the masses that He puts in my path. It is a light and love they will feel as the energy raises hairs on their necks and gives them pause to wonder what it is that I have, that their souls thirst for.

He is my beacon of hope, my transmitter of love, and radiator of grace. I am just another repeater in His network of children. May I serve Him well.

Galatians 2:20, I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

He Hasn’t Given Up On Me

2 Corinthians 4:8, We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit.

Not always giving myself due credit for the things I’m capable of, I sometimes fall short in my own mind. I was once the master ringleader in the nightmare circus of mentally beating myself down. It was a perpetual chain of events that would start with me not being good enough at my job or a relationship, and ended with going to a bar or to my quiet bedroom, where I could hide and drink alone. The easy road was to give up on myself, and give into my disease.

Today, as the sun hides behind clouds, I realize that God allows me to fail, from time to time, so that I can rely on Him to pick me back up. He has given me a desire to follow Him and soul of courage to trust myself to do so. When I’m down, I’m still not out. He is the parent who blows a kiss on my scraped knee while His hands apply a needed bandage to my wounds. Holding His hand, I get back up to try again.

As He believes in me, may I believe in myself. I pray to not forget that I do not stand on my own. I have faith in myself, because He has not given up on me.

Romans 8:32, Since God did not spare even His own Son but gave Him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?

Step by Step

Romans 7:18, I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

It is important for me to remember who and what I am. I am a man; a sinful and flawed man, who is powerless over my addictions and compulsive behavior. Without Christ, my life is unmanageable. My step-work shows me how dark the road can get and reaffirms my need for His light along my path to sanity.

Recently, I’ve started doing the first three steps, every morning and anytime I feel urges to drink come along. These steps in particular give me proper pause enough to remember the simple truth: I cannot do this on my own. And bigger than that, I can’t do anything on my own. It’s only through the spiritual worship of turning my will and life over to the care of God, letting Him take the reigns, that I can stay on track. There’s a narrow path that He illuminates with His grace, love, and glory… I pray He continues to tug at my heart strings, so that I wont lose my way, Amen!

1 Corinthians 9:26, So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step…

It’s Hell in the Hallway

1 Corinthians 7:26, Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain just as you are.

Whenever a door shuts, another opens. I’ve always stressed the hell that lies in the hallway and have usually faltered in my fear. But, the next door that He opens has always been exactly what I needed or have been ready for. Whether I knew it or not, He has guided my ever-forward momentum. With knowledge of the past and faith in my future, I let go and surrender to Him.

The only thing I fear is God. May the darkness and troubles of the hallways shrink in His light that illuminates from my heart and encompasses my soul. I am His and He dwells within me. Through Christ, all things are possible, He who gives me strength… Amen!

Exodus 15:13, “With unfailing love you will lead this people whom you have ransomed. You will guide them in your strength to the place where your holiness dwells.”

By Definition, I Believe

By definition Christ is the Messiah, as foretold by the prophets of Hebrew Scriptures. Also meaning, an ideal type of humanity. Christ is: Advocate, Anointed One, Creator, God, Good Shepherd, Jehovah, Light of the world, Lord, Mediator, Messenger, Only Begotten Son, Redeemer, Savior, and the Son. The Messiah by definition, was sent to save the human race from the sin it inherited through the fall of Man. He is the Anointed one; an appellation given to Jesus, the Savior.

John 1:17, For the law was given through Moses: God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ.

John 1:41, The fist thing Andrew did was to find his brother, Simon, and tell him, “We have found the Messiah!” (Which means the Christ).

John 4:25, “I know the Messiah will come- the one who is called Christ. When He comes, He will explain everything to us.”

Acts 10:36, I’m sure you have heard about the Good News for the people of Israel – that there is peace with God through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.

Romans 1:4, And Jesus Christ, our Lord, was shown to be the Son of God when God powerfully raised Him from the dead by means of the Holy Spirit.

Matthew 5:17-20, Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

By my definition, Christ is love. With my heart filled will love (Him), it guides me to His arms as I’m lead to believe.

Blessed Children are We

Luke 20:38, So He is the God of the living, not the dead. They are all alive to Him.

Researching birthing options with my wife, I’ve been learning a lot about the connection between mother and child, at the time of birth. There is a chemical and hormonal, not to mention the obvious physical bond, between mother and child as the baby travels down the birth canal and enters the world. That bond can be hindered and therefore lessened, by drugs like Pitocin, or by complications in delivery, requiring cesarean. Sometimes breastfeeding is difficult, due to the cut-off of this essential connection. Bottom line-apparently, natural is best.

I think of my connection with Christ as I move ever closer down the canal toward a new life in Him where I will be reborn into His arms. It’s always been interesting to me, those people who never accept the need for God. Alone on their death bed, as they gasp their last shallow breath, do they reach out for the hand of their creator?

One of my grandfathers recently passed into the kingdom of the Lord. I can write about this truth as fact, not because he was a Southern Baptist preacher, but because he knew Jesus personally. In my grandpa Jansen’s final days, he did not move, talk, or even open his eyes anymore. My tired kin laid at home, under hospice care, and waited for his body to finally free his soul. My dad tells me that he, at last, opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He gasped in awe of what his eyes were shown and simply said, “Wow!”, before he exhaled his last bit of oxygen. Flat-lining with a smile is the way I hope to pass through the tunnel of light into the loving arms of my Lord.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I hope and pray to live a clean, noble, humble, and natural life. God knows that I tried it my way. With constant prayer, being held responsible by my family, keeping good friends, reading the Word, and attending meetings and church regularly, I manifest innocence that encompasses my being. I want to pass naturally into the arms of my Father and be held to His bosom as He nurtures me at my newest point of true existence.

Mark 10:16, Then He took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads and blessed them.

Healed and Moved

Mark 7:37, For they were completely amazed. Again and again they said, “Everything He does is wonderful. He even heals those who are deaf and mute.”

When Jesus walked the earth, He gave the deaf the ability to hear and the blind, eyes to see. He cleansed the lepers, healed epilepsy, made the lame walk, and rose the dead. Even today, through the power of prayer and faith, Jesus touches those who call upon His name.

As a sober man who can see, smell, taste, walk, think clearly, reason, wonder, and dream, I ask myself: “What can He do in me?” With an able heart and willing mind, I invoke the creator of space, time, emotion, and love to move me. I pray that He do in me whatever and whenever He can; as much as possible. As the arms and legs of Christ, who dwells within me, I humbly ask Him to work miracles through my limbs for His purpose.

Mark 1:41, Moved with pity, Jesus touched him. “I want to,” he said. “Be healed!

Of My Own Free Will

James 1:25, But if you keep looking steadily into God’s perfect law- the law that sets you free- and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.

When my alarm startled my slumber this morning, I chose to rise from my bed. My duty to my family and responsibility to my career set my body, and car, on autopilot. Tired and unmotivated, I chose to take each task in my day on with full force and unwavering dedication. After nine hours I left accomplished, yet ready for a much needed nap.

Returning home resets my internal clock to AM, as I feel the need to tidy the house while giving unconditional love and affection to the love of my life. When the fork in the road shows my cozy, comforting, and warm waiting bed on my left, and the loving arms of my partner and also chores on my right, I choose wisely. I enjoy a peaceful, well kept home.

Perhaps the military chants still echo in my mind: Service and duty, before self. Maybe my prayers for wisdom guide my hand throughout my day. This hasn’t always been the case, but I’m grateful for it now.

My delicate wife left for work tonight, and I chose to hit the gym. After running for a half-hour, my thoughts of drinking were surpassed by endorphins and fatigue. I chose to drive home for a shower and to eat some of her left-over soup.Wearing only a towel, with a steaming bowl of chicken- corn chowder, the realization hit me: ‘I’m made up of the choices I make; the choices He lets me make.’ Suddenly the air smelt cleaner and the soup tasted hardier.

Alive in the fact that I’m not a mindless drone, I take pride in the choices I’m making. I choose to uphold my duties, honor my wife, maintain my sobriety, give thanks to God for the food He created that nourishes my body, and the free will and choice to love Jesus.

The fact that He chose to die for me does not automatically mean that I have to accept and love Him. I choose to do that with my own free will. He gave me the heart that guides me. Christ allows my mind to wander. I choose to follow His path. Wandering passionately to the Messiah, I choose life.

James 2:12, So whenever you speak, or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law of love, the law that sets you free.

Boast His Glory

1 Corinthians 29-31, So that no one can ever boast in the presence of God. God alone made it possible for you to be in Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Christ to be wisdom itself. He is the one who made us acceptable to God. He made us pure and holy, and He gave Himself to purchase our freedom. As the Scripture says, “The person who wishes to boast should boast only of what the Lord has done.”

To say that I wouldn’t be alive today without the love and grace of Jesus is an understatement. I wouldn’t even exist without Him. I appreciate the air I breathe, give thanks for the food I eat, and praise the Father for allowing me the opportunity to be a daddy. All glory to God!

Jesus told us, and it’s written, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6. Without the painful sacrifice of love that Jesus burdened, I would be lost to a world of sin. Stumbling through alleyways and sleeping in the streets, I would never know the voice, the guidance, and the breathtaking grace of God Himself. Jesus gave me another chance. A chance to come back to the One who created us all, out of love. We broke the communication line that He originally fashioned for His satisfaction. Jesus came to reset the path to truth. I am alive and sober today because of His love. More than that, I am saved from death, because Christ gave me life!

Acts 15:11, We believe that we are saved the same way, by the special favor of the Lord Jesus.